I’ve always been a creature of habit. Frankly, I think we all are. But not all habits are created equally. For those of us who have wonderful lives and long-term success, it’s usually because we’ve adopted some high quality habits that are non-negotiable in our daily lives. I suspect most of us know what personal-growth habits would improve our lives, but many people don’t know the self-awareness techniques that are necessary to make high-quality habits stick. As someone who is often regarded for my ‘stick-to-it-ness’ I thought I’d share the 5 key things that have worked for me.
1. Connect the Habit to the Person you Aspire to Be
Anchoring my habits to the woman I want to be has been the lifeline to making any of my habits happen. You need to have a reason you want to commit to a new habit if you have any chance of making it stick. And the reason needs to be deeply meaningful to you. For example, I used to be notoriously late for everything and I always had an excuse for why I was late – almost like it was burden I valiantly shouldered. And then I began noticing the people I looked up to and they were always on time or even early. I wanted to be like them and realized there were some very simple things that were causing me to be late that I could easily change. This took some self-discipline in the beginning, but remembering the woman I aspired to be was a great motivator to stick to it. Over 20 years later, you can call me a lot of things, but late is almost never one of them.
2. Ask For Help
This step is so key and yet most of us don’t do this. When I turned 30 I decided I wanted to be a runner. I thought runners were cool and I aspired to be a healthy and fit person. The only thing stopping me was that I had no clue about running. I did, however, know a few hardcore runners, so I reached out to a couple of them and asked for some tips. I’ve learned that people who are good at something generally love to help newbies. In a very short time, I had a training plan, custom shoe fitting, and a running buddy. I ran my first 10K at my set pace and felt the pride that comes from setting a big goal and finishing it.
3. Plan and Have the Resources You Need
For any good habits I’ve implemented in my life, I’ve had to plan how to make it a reality. Whether it was something big like when I went back to work after mat leave or something relatively simple like when I decided to start drinking a breakfast smoothie every day, I needed a plan and I needed to make sure I had the supplies or resources ready to make it happen. To help myself stick to my plan and always have what I need, I use a variety of tools like recurring alarm reminders on my phone and online grocery orders.
4. Create Accountability
I’ve found that having an accountability partner – particularly someone I’m paying money to – has been the best way for me to stick to my habit when my self-discipline is nowhere to be found. Exercise is particularly tough for me on my own, so I’ve been paying a trainer for the past 15 years. I’m certain I would not have completed 95% of the workouts I’ve done if I had not paid a lot of money and known that there was someone waiting for me to show up. This has been true for other goals I’ve set for myself. Earlier this year I hired a pelvic floor physiotherapist (that could be a whole blog post on its own!) and I did all my ‘homework’ because I was paying a lot of money and I knew I’d be seeing her again in a week. My inner hyper-achiever is motivated by a gold star if nothing else.
5. Tweak It Until It Feels Right
I have almost never set a new intention or habit without needing to make adjustments to my original plan. I think so many people give up on their habit change at this critical stage rather than tweaking it to make it work. I remember deciding about 8 years ago that I wanted to start waking at 5am each day. The early days of that process were not great, so I kept tweaking it until it worked. The tweaks were small but they made a huge difference. Things such as pre-setting the coffee maker to be ready at 4:55am was a huge incentive for me. I also had to adjust when I went to bed which meant cutting out that extra episode of whatever show we were watching.
High-quality habits aren’t about perfection—they’re about building a life you’re proud to live, one small choice at a time. The truth is, you already have what it takes to follow through. The key is to connect every habit to the person you want to become, get the right support, and keep adjusting until it feels like a natural part of you.
So, what’s one habit you can start today that your future self will thank you for? If you’re ready to make it happen, I’d be honoured to help you build the habits that will transform your life.